Is the "Good Girl Syndrome" Running Your Life?

The Good Girl Syndrome shows up as a constant pressure to meet expectations, do things "right," and keep everything running smoothly. It's found in the woman who feels she has to bring the perfect dessert to a gathering, take care of the children's schedules while working fulltime, or having the perfectly cleaned house at all times.

The Good Girl Syndrome is about trying to meet the expectations of others. It's constantly thinking about and taking care of others around you, with little regard for your own needs. Over time, these unspoken rules and endless shoulds and perceived have-tos can quietly take over, leaving little space for a woman's own wants, needs, or desires.

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"Good Girl Syndrome manifests as a relentless barrage of societal "shoulds" -an overwhelming flood of perceived obligations that suffocate a woman's personal desires."

-Julie Vander Meulen

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Try this 3-Minute Check-In:

Take a quiet moment and ask yourself without judging:

1. Where in my life am I saying "yes" out of obligation rather than what I'd like to do?

2. What am I doing because I feel I should, not because it's something important to me?

3. How does my body feel when I think about this--tight, heavy, resentful, calm?

Next, pause and complete the following sentence in your journal or quietly to yourself with as many answers that come to mind:

If I gave myself permission to choose differently, I might...

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"When someone really hears you without passing judgment, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good."

-Carl Rogers

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You don't have to stop being capable or caring--you just get to decide when and why you say, "yes."