How Do You Take Off the Mask and Find Your True Self? (Part2)
- Connie Leach
- Aug 14, 2025
- 2 min read
Finding your true self isn't about becoming someone new---it's about remembering who you were before the world told you who to be.
It begins with gentle awareness:
Notice when you're "performing." Pay attention to moments when you feel phony or feel pressure to act a certain way to be liked, approved of, or to avoid conflict. That's often a clue that you're wearing a mask.
Get curious, not critical. Ask yourself: Where did this role come from? When did I start wearing it? Often, our masks were formed to protect us in childhood or during hard times. Respect that---and then ask if you still need it today.
Make space for the real you. Explore what brings you joy, what energizes you, what feels authentic---not what looks good on paper. Then, start doing more of that.
Show up a little more honestly. Share your thoughts, your needs, quirks. Practice saying "no" when you mean no. Let others meet the real you---one layer at a time.
Be patient and compassionate. You don't have to rip the mask off all at once. Sometimes it's about loosening it gently and seeing who you are underneath.
Early Childhood
It's sometimes helpful to look at a photo of a younger self, a time when you felt free, joyful, and completely you. That version of you is still there---hiding underneath the masks you wear today.
Relationships
Notice how you show up in your relationships. Do you take on the persona of "the mother," always nurturing or fixing, while your partner slips into the role of "the helpless little boy?" Or, perhaps you find yourself playing the peacemaker, the caretaker, the helpless little girl, or the one who always has it together.
Charlotte Kasl, in her book, "If the Buddha Married," suggests that we exaggerate these roles to help recognize them more clearly---and to ask ourselves whether they're truly serving us or holding us back.
"I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, sir, because I'm not myself, you see."
-Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
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